i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
