Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
