Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
