pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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