Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
