We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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