and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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