So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
