What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bring me that man meat
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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