all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
