Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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