apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
