i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
