I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
