you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
