I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
