I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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