Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
