I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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