Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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