The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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