Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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