I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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