is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
