I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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