I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag