people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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