Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize