So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
