There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
