The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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