i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
