She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
