She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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