those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
