This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
