Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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