I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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