Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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