theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
