oh god the rape fog is back!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
