and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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