carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
There are leaves in my underwear?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
