Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
