I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize