There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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