He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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