It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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