party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
