i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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