Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
