Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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