Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
