My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
