Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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