you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
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bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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