I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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