my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
