Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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