So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
