she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
