I didn't shave. On purpose
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
