My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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