I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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