I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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