So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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