i love accidental penises.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
