can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
