In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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