we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
