I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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